Well, hello strangers (or not). So it is Saturday, well its midnight when I type this out. I have class tomorrow, starts at eight. Life sucks really. It seems like I will not be able to go home this week. I terribly miss home.

To think that me, who is studying in my own country and to think that I am only approximately 100 kilometres away from home, its kind of funny to say that I am homesick but nevertheless, I am still homesick. This semester alone, I can’t go home every week. Worse, I can’t even go home every 2 weeks. There’s this and that. I guess I have my limits. Semester break had just ended last Monday so yes; school is back in the schedule, with some other things.

My family went up to send me the things that I left at home and forgot to bring back to the residential college on Wednesday. They texted me and sadly, we were having a meeting so I can’t join them. So they just drop by and send me the stuff. I was sad really. I tried hard not to cry when they left. I am not complaining that I have too much works to do. I am sure that the previous BCs also have the same problems; it depends on how we handle it individually.

I agreed to do this so it would be irresponsible for me not to do things and get the certificate later. Don’t get me wrong, I love working, and yes, I definitely love meeting all the wonderful people, sincerely saying. But I am bad with time management. I don’t like troubling others. I don’t want to burden others with my selfishness. I try not to. I dislike it when things aren’t in harmony.

So you might wonder what I have to do as a block captain.

Basically, we had these activities planned as early as February. The point of conducting these activities are to actually make life in the residential college less like a hotel and less boring I suppose as well as to make friends and encourage interactions between residents. Then, proposals have to be made and it has to be approved before the activities can be done. The block captain should also send monthly block report to the office and also send reports regarding the cleaning campaigns after the cleaning campaign of course. The block captain also receives complaints from residents to be reported to the office but of course residents can also complain directly to the office as the blocks are the responsibility of each and every single one of the resident that stays there. Other than that, along with the other block captains and other bureau, we also lend our hands to any activities conducted by the university when they need help.

It sounds simple and easy right?

Well, we are also students. We have classes; we have our own extracurricular activities, family ♥, friends♡, tests✰, assignments✿, presentations❀ and leisure time❤ツ. So this is when time management skill can come in handy. I, who happen to lack in this special skill are having a bipolar life.

Other issue I am having right now will be…

Friends sometimes say “you have no time for us, you’re always busy”

So how do you think I feel about that? This is in general. Not all just a few.

I am a person who has the lack of power to refuse. A person who think that it is vital not to hurt other people’s feelings because I know who hurtful it can be. A person who put forward other people’s needs more than mine even though I have to suffer. I don’t mind doing that. Sometimes I feel like I am always running because I dislike pressure. I feel like I don’t have time for myself. When is the last time I go out and doesn’t feel guilty or burdened by it? They say that I am too nice. That is a big lie. I am not nice at all. Nice means nothing actually. I don’t know. If I am ‘nice’ why am I always alone? How much do they know about me? By reading this blog, you think that you really know me? Whoa, this is becoming more and more emotional isn’t it? Right now I have mates, mates who need me when they are in needs. :)

And you ask me, “Why are you still with them?”

Ø Is it because I need the ride to my oh so far away faculty? NO.

Is it because I have no other choice? NO.

Is it because it’s hard for me to go around since I have no car? No.

Ø Firstly, I don’t mind walking. I’ve been walking since the start of semester one, so what’s the big deal?

Secondly, I do have a choice but I don’t make friends for fun. How can someone ditch a friend? I would avoid talking to those I dislike, but to stop talking to them and make it everyone’s business. Now, that’s big. I have a few issues really. It’s either me who is overly sensitive or someone really talk to me only when they need me. That is how I feel about a certain someone who is least likely to read this. At least be subtle when doing it. Sometimes, I feel like I am being treated like rubbish. Thank you for that. Since we’ll be in the same class for the whole course, it will be awkward isn’t it. especially for stupid reasons. I feel like I am always the one who try to reach out to you when you don’t even do anything.

Thirdly, I am not the type who likes to go out here and there so I don’t mind not having my own transport. (Except when I wish I have one when I am terribly homesick but that’s different isn’t it?)

That is what makes life difficult at the moment. Too much drama that I, myself, can’t handle.

I don’t know why but I think this might be the most dramatic point in my life.